I have only been a mom for 13 short months. Time has flown, days blend into each other and even the long sleepless nights have accumulated quickly. I can’t believe it’s only been 13 months. It feels like E has been a part of our lives forever. Being a new mom has taught me many things.
I have learned more in the last 13 months than any other time period in my life. I have learned about myself, being a mother, keeping a tiny human living and thriving, my relationship with Jason, my relationship with others and so so much more. It’s staggering to try and put it all together.
To be honest, I don’t think I’m even capable of grasping it completely but I would like to share with you a few things I have learned.
Being A New Mom Has Taught Me:
1) Your Perspective Will Change, on EVERYTHING
Music, food, politics, cleaning products, clothing, TV, books, how you feed a baby, how other people feed their baby, diapers… (I could keep going for ever, but you get the picture.) These may seem to have nothing in common until you become a parent. As a parent, my perspective and thoughts have changed on every single one of these subjects.
All of a sudden we listen to country and kids songs vs. metal. I cringe at the thoughts of using commercial cleaning products when I used to seek out and buy the best smelling, strongest cleaners I could find. Before E, I never even realized there were different ways to feed your baby; I thought every baby started with cereal and purees.
When my niece was born, I remember telling my sister “You better get her sleeping in a crib, or else she will sleep with you forever.” – Now I cringe at the thought of having said that! E has just started sleeping in her crib, and only for naps or first thing at night before we go to bed. I love co-sleeping and it has probably been what kept me sane this long! Read more about that HERE.
Being a new mom has taught me that perspectives and opinions are no longer fixed notions in my mind. They have changed, changed some more and are still changing. Being a parent causes you to question everything, constantly be learning and this causes your perspective on almost any topic to shift one way or another; over and over.
2) It Doesn’t Really Matter How You Parent Your Child
I’ll admit – before having kids, I had a tiny tendency to judge moms with naughty children. More than once, the thought “MY kids won’t ever talk, do, be that”. It was a passing thought and I didn’t put a whole lot of energy into it. But, the underlying feeling is that she allowed her children to be the way they are.
Now, I have come to the realization that it doesn’t necessarily matter how you parent your child, they are born with their own, tiny, sometimes ferocious personalities. Yes, you can guide and mold them, but they are who they are from day 1.
E has had a strong personality from day one and has no problems showing it. Being a new mom has taught me that not only can you not change who your child is, maybe you shouldn’t try to!
Good one God, I get it 🙂
3) You need a support system
Support systems come in many forms. From friends and family that are close to you and will help out, to online communities – they are all important and you need them. It takes a village to raise a child, and a tribe to keep Mama sane!
I am not one to ask for help often, but being a new mom has taught me that I can’t do it all on my own. I can tell you there have been times where I was so so thankful to have someone to turn to when I needed to!
4) Having a baby will test even the strongest of relationships.
Being a new mom has taught me that it doesn’t matter if you have the most solid relationship out there; having a baby will put your relationship through the wringer.
It would be a lie to say that having a baby hasn’t put stress on a relationship. You both are figuring out your unique parenting techniques and a common ground so you can work as a team, the lack of sleep, and juggling your personal needs, work needs and keeping up with a house, all take their toll – on both of you.
But, that being said, it also makes you pretty damn proud when things start to click. When you start working together as a team, your parenting styles meld and things begin to feel normal again. You feel like you weathered a storm and came out the better for it. There will still be hard days, but be proud of the good days!
5) You are stronger than you think
From labour and delivery, to sleepless nights, to carrying 15 bags of groceries, a baby and a diaper bag at once. Whatever you thought you couldn’t do, you will. And, whenever you think you can’t handle anything more, something will inevitably arise to prove you wrong.
6) You are more patient that you think
I’m not a patient person. I don’t like to wait for anything, I get frustrated easily and I bounce from one new thing to another all the time.
But, being a new mom has taught me that I am way more patient than I ever thought. Middle of the night wake-up calls (for 13 months straight – and counting), sticking to a routine for E, getting hit or bit… all these times I have been called to be patient and rose to the occasion.
7) You are cooler than you think
She thinks we rock SnapChat selfies 🙂
For all the stress a new baby can bring, they bring 1,000 times more joy. Being a new mom has taught me that I am cool – at least in E’s eyes.
Suddenly, you become the funniest, best dancing, most awesome singer and all around star in someone’s world. It’s an awesome feeling!
8) You learn what really matters
All of a sudden, so many things that were once important don’t even cross your mind. You learn that happy and healthy family is important, and that is about it. It’s liberating!
9) Time is fleeting
Even the longest sleepless night you have will pass by quickly. Every stage with your child is so brief and you will miss it when you realize you’ve moved on into the next one. Drink each moment in and cherish it once it is gone.
It’s so cliché, but that’s for a reason! Time goes so, so very fast once your baby is born.
10) You suddenly want to have all the babies and yet can’t imagine another!
They are cute, cuddly and smell great! Within hours of having E, I told Jason “I could do that again”. They are a challenge, exhausting and sticky. Apparently I am backwards to most people but as time has gone on (and months of sleepless nights) I find the idea of the second more and more
I am sure that this will fade and in no time I will want to add another member to our family.
12) Kid shows aren’t that bad
When it is all that will keep your toddler occupied for 5 minutes so you can pee and scarf down a piece of toast (maybe simultaneously – we won’t judge), suddenly kid shows are ok!
13) You are capable of loving deeper than you ever imagined possible
It’s cliché, but it is so true. And, no matter how many times you are told this is the case, you won’t really grasp it until you have a child of your own.
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